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Maximum Strength Homeopathic HGH: Not

Spotted at an exhibition for Olde Fartes:

Somaderm homeopathic HGH

Somaderm homeopathic HGH

I think they just blew up the bottle label to human size, with no attention to the resulting pixelation.

One can find Somaderm on the Interwebs, which leads to the “Active Ingredients” list:

Somaderm homeopathic HGH - Active Ingredients

Somaderm homeopathic HGH – Active Ingredients

Looking up their NDC number helps translate the bullshit Latinesque nomenclature:

  • Glandula Suprarenalis Suis = boar adrenal glands
  • Thyroidinum = cow thyroid glands
  • Somatropin = human growth hormone

They’re exceedingly proud of that NDC number, touting “SOMADERM Gel is the only transdermal, FDA registered product”. Indeed, it’s registered, about which the FDC has this to say:

Assigned NDC numbers are not in any way an indication of FDA approval of the product.

and

Marketing Category UNAPPROVED HOMEOPATHIC

With that in mind, consider the dilutions:

  • Glandula Suprarenalis Suis = 1 part per million
  • Thyroidinum = 10 part per billion
  • Somatropin = 1×10-30 = there are no words

Homeopathic “drugs” never list the starting concentration or amounts in the product, but diluting something by a factor of ten-to-the-thirty ensures not one single molecule of the original compound will make it into the bottle. This, of course, means the HGH is at “maximum strength”, in the homeopathic way of magical thinking.

You’ll surely find some molecules of pig brain and maybe even a few molecules of cow glands, but I suspect they’re not buying the “active” ingredients in shipping container lots. In round numbers, one pig adrenal, one cow thyroid, and one drop of actual HGH would supply their needs well into the future.

I would like to see how they dilute those ingredients, because I doubt they have legions of trained homeopaths succussing bottles against elastic surfaces.

Of course, such dilution requires careful attention to detail, lest a stray molecule make its way into the final product, which surely justifies the punch line:

Somaderm homeopathic HGH - Price

Somaderm homeopathic HGH – Price

There is also a $150 “Membership Price”, suggesting a multi-level marketing scam running in parallel. Some rummaging on their website reveals cryptic phrases confirming the suspicion: “Be the change that will inspire others to follow” and “Information on how to become a distributor“.

Ya gotta admire ’em for not even blinking.

A note on commenting: there is zero evidence of efficacy¸ so don’t even try to advocate homeopathy. If it worked, it’d be medicine, not a MLM scam.

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  1. #1 by Daniel B. Martin on 2018-09-28 - 08:11

    The dilution ratio brings to mind an old story about the clam chowder served in a “greasy spoon” diner. The kitchen had only one clam which was attached to a string. That one clam was dragged through many vats of chowder, thus making the product worthy of the name clam chowder.

    • #2 by Ed on 2018-09-28 - 10:00

      Probably the same diner where the chicken swam across the chicken soup …

  2. #3 by Trudi on 2018-09-28 - 08:32

    Where do the *’s on the front lead you? *’s are pesky.

    • #4 by Ed on 2018-09-28 - 10:02

      They all point to a footnote in very small type (presumably on the back of the bottle):

      * These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

      Truth in labeling: it doesn’t treat, cure, or prevent anything!

      • #5 by david on 2018-09-30 - 23:25

        That’s not true: it cures people of having too much money and prevents people from understanding actual science!

        • #6 by Ed on 2018-10-01 - 09:12

          Well played, sir!

          There’s definitely a lack of “understanding actual science” going on these days …

  3. #7 by Trudi on 2018-09-28 - 12:04

    it doesn’t treat, cure, or prevent anything!

    Weight loss….. to your wallet!

  4. #8 by RCPete on 2018-09-28 - 12:50

    YIkes, I was under the impression that 30X meant 1:30 dilution, not 10^-30! I suppose they’ll let a whiff of HGH loose the next county or so for that.

    Penn and Teller did a book on playing with food. No surprise, they’re pretty brutal about homeopathy. (Their recipe that entailed lots of lemon juice along with baking soda sounds kind of fun–if you don’t have to clean the mess.)

    • #9 by Ed on 2018-09-28 - 15:49

      Yup, and if “X” dilutions don’t go down fast enough, you could use factor-of-100 “C” dilutions: Dilution scales.

      I straight up do not believe they dilute by successive steps, as they should, with all the shaking and whacking. Whatever, I’d still enjoy a factory tour!

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