It seems reporting a frozen hydrant to the local fire company didn’t produce any meaningful action:
We didn’t have any fires in the neighborhood where it might have been a problem, but I’ll try the water department this year …
Oddly, the water department repainted most of the fire hydrants along most of the roads last year. This one apparently didn’t qualify, for whatever reason, despite being only slightly off Rt 376 on Sheldon:
When it’s not frozen, it’s not obvious …
The Smell of Molten Projects in the Morning 
It was probably too wet to paint.
Well played, sir!