Monthly Aphorism: On Branding

  • Never get a tattoo where the judge can see it

I suppose if you don’t understand the wisdom in that, there’s no point in trying to explain it. Perhaps this will suffice: put the slip of paper you were taking to the tattoo artist in a safe place, fast-forward two decades, then look at it again before flipping the read-only bit.

And “If you can read this, roll me over” tattooed above your rump is never appropriate…

  1. #1 by peter on 2011-12-31 - 16:18

    Used to be on a dating site; part of the description of myself involved describing absolute turn-offs. For me, they were (in order of importance) religion, smoking, tattoos and/or piercings.

    Guess which girls responded? The religious ones, and the ones with tattoos….

    Very odd. As if they were trying to prove something to me.

    Peter. (<– who fears he'll never understand women)

    • #2 by Ed on 2011-12-31 - 16:49

      As if they were trying to prove something to me.

      And you let them try, eh? [grin]

  2. #3 by david on 2011-12-31 - 21:37

    The only tattoo I’ve ever been tempted to get is, across the huge scar I have down the center of my abdomen, “Warranty void if seal is broken”. Offset slightly on the line, of course.

    • #4 by Ed on 2012-01-01 - 07:26

      Or, perhaps, “In case of emergency, tear along dotted line.”

  3. #5 by Bob Paddock on 2012-01-01 - 09:13

    A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn’t see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.

    The genie said, “For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one.”

    The man thought for a minute and said, “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I’m afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii.”

    The genie thought for a few minutes and said, “No, I don’t think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask.”

    The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, “There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes them tick?”

    The genie considered for a few minutes and said, “So, do you want two lanes or four?”

    — Original source unknown.

    • #6 by Ed on 2012-01-01 - 09:51

      Heck, I don’t even understand me