Spam Proposition

This flotsam recently washed over the railing. I added the bold highlight:

Ladies and Gentleman.

In order to have your company inserted into the registry of World Businesses for 2009/2010, please print, complete and return the enclosed form (PDF file) to the following address:

WORLD BUSINESS GUIDE
P.O. Box 2021
3500 GA Utrecht
The Netherlands

register@ — .biz
FAX: ++31 — — 8107

Updating is free of charge

Treating the attached PDF with the same casual nonchalance I use with any lump of high-level radioactive waste, I opened it in The GIMP (to strip any interesting PDF malware) and found an ordinary printable PDF form.

Surprisingly, it didn’t have any slots for charge card or bank account info, but, down at the bottom, there’s a dense block of fine print.

I ran it through pdftotext to get the raw text and here’s the kick in the head, boldified for your reading convenience.

THE SIGNING OF THIS DOCUMENT REPRESENTS THE ACCEPTANCE OF THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS AND THE CONDITIONS STATED IN “THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR INSERTION” ON WEBPAGE: WWW.WORLD-BUSINESSGUIDE.COM. THE SIGNING IS LEGALLY BINDING AND GIVES YOU THE RIGHT OF AN INSERTION IN THE ONLINE DATA BASE OF THE WORLD BUSINESS GUIDE, WHICH CAN BE ACCESSED VIA THE INTERNET. A CD ROM WITH WORLDWIDE BUSINESSES IS GRANTED, ALL IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE CONTRACT CONDITIONS STATED IN “THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR INSERTION” ON WEBPAGE: WWW.WORLDBUSINESSGUIDE.COM. THE VALIDATION TIME OF THE CONTRACT IS THREE YEARS AND STARTS ON THE EIGHTH DAY AFTER SIGNING THE CONTRACT. THE INSERTION IS GRANTED AFTER SIGNING AND RECEIVING THIS DOCUMENT BY THE SERVICE PROVIDER. I HEREBY ORDER A SUBSCRIPTION WITH SERVICE PROVIDER INTERNATIONAL DIRECTORIES LTD “WORLD BUSINESS GUIDE”. I WILL HAVE AN INSERTION INTO ITS DATA BASE FOR THREE YEARS. THE PRICE PER YEAR IS EURO 995. THE SUBSCRIPTION WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY EXTENDED EVERY YEAR FOR ANOTHER YEAR, UNLESS SPECIFIC WRITTEN NOTICE IS RECEIVED BY THE SERVICE PROVIDER OR THE SUBSCRIBER TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE EXPIRATION OF THE SUBSCRIPTION. YOUR DATA WILL BE RECORDED. THE PLACE OF JURISDICTION IN ANY DISPUTE ARISING IS THE SERVICE PROVIDER’S ADDRESS. THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN THE SERVICE PROVIDER AND THE SUBSCRIBER IS GOVERNED BY THE CONDITIONS STATED IN “THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR INSERTION” ON WEBPAGE: WWW.WORLD-BUSINESSGUIDE.COM

I haven’t checked out the full T&C, as I doubt I’ll benefit from such a listing.

This probably works best in large organizations, where one sucker responds to the spam and then the billing department responds automatically to incoming invoices. The two-month advance notice is a really nice touch, isn’t it?

Why do people continue to fall for this crap? If it didn’t pay off, the spammers would dry up and blow away, so there must be a fresh crop of suckers every day.

People, stop doing that!

Update: More on spam and what (not) to do: http://www.spamprimer.com/